Brother Ben

My first couple of weeks in Arkansas were pretty shitty. I had removed myself from everything and everyone that mattered to me. It was a tough new beginning.

I kept to myself for a long time. I mean, there was a lot of tension from the locals. Not a lot of Mexicans in Arkansas when I first arrived. I was a drug dealer as far as they were concerned. Slowly, I started mixing more with my coworkers. I got invited to lunch and started exploring the city more on my own.

One Sunday night, the page reader came over to drop a page off at my desk. I can't remember how the subject of the Sopranos came up exactly, but we got to talking about the show. I told him that I'd watched from the beginning. He told me he and some of his friends got together to watch the show after work. Armed with the invitation to his apartment, I went home and grabbed a six pack of beer then headed over to his place to watch the latest episode. That was how I became friends with Ben.

I remember he was surprised that I brought beer. He was even more surprised when I didn't take the untouched beer home. Ben found a lot about me strange, I think.

Over the course of the next few years, Ben and I became close friends. I've met a few people in my life; none of them like Ben. During all the time we spent together, Ben never judged me about anything. He was always there to listen and offer advice. He's a great drinking buddy and a smart motherfucker too. Just an all around great guy. We found out we shared similar tastes in music and film. Not to mention the fact that we both enjoyed good conversation and a good cigar. Top that all off with our love of The Ramones and it sealed the deal.

I'd like to think that we both learned a lot about life from each other. Even though we've only been friends for a short time, I feel like we've been friends forever. I know that there were times where maybe I wasn't the best roommate, but he was forgiving.

Then there was the camera. The man bankrolled my miniDV camera. What can you say about a friend who helps you buy something like that? Shit, even if he hadn't, I've got lots to say about him.

There were times when my world was collapsing around me. He was there to knock a bit of it off my back and help me up. I tried to do the same for him whenever I could.

See, Ben wasn't just my friend. He was my brother.

We roomed together with another one of my best friends, Lyon, at a 5,000 square foot Victorian home dubbed "The Five Points". It was the ultimate bachelor pad. Three movie geeks, two TV rooms and a generous helping of beer. We hosted some great parties and had some great benders together.

We had our weekly drinking night, Thursdays, at a local pub. He and I, Stewart, Jeff Arnold and Lyon. That was our fortress of solitude. Those were good times.

And we took some road trips too. He and I saw Graceland together. We took a tour of the Gibson guitar factory in Memphis. We saw Dylan in Oklahoma City. And we even traveled to Dallas to visit a couple of arthouse theatres and catch movies we normally wouldn't be able to see.

It was his birthday yesterday. Sadly, it's another one I've missed. He's married now. He use to think it wouldn't happen; my wife would always tell him otherwise.

Ben, I wish I could give you more than just these few words. I wish Tonya and I could meet you and Jenny at the bar and share a pizza, a few drinks and a lots of laughs.

But for now, I'll just wish you many happy returns, a long life and lots of love.

Salud, dinero y amor, my brother. I love you.

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