This blog is...

Classified. Or about classifieds. I love 'em. Not the vehicle ones or the homes for sale or the job ones, but the ones that post things for sale. And the pets.

The paper here has a classification called, 'bargain basement'. I love to browse that every day. I don't know what it is about that. I mean, lots of times, I don't have a need for 'Bucket Seats for Pinto of Bobcat,' but I like to read about them. I don't have a need for 'Reptile Habitat clean and secure w/lamp, new heat pad, 20 gal long,' but it's neat that it's out there.

I don't know what it is about the 'bargain basement'. Someone owned these things and love them for a time and has now decided to part with them. Or maybe they didn't love them. Maybe they didn't even want them. Who knows.

I could use a 'Coke 2 door glass cooler,' but I can't afford it.


Wonders of the world

Examining some of the many features of my new toy, er, I mean, cellphone, I decided to see if it came with any games. I was then reminded of my wife's dismay:

Tonya: Man, this sucks.
Me: What?
Tonya: This doesn't have very good sounds. It doesn't even have any games.

Despite the fact that our original's phone's shelf life was about six minutes, it was still a good phone. Color screen, backlit numbers and relatively decent volume. Our new phones are fucking cool.

They've got a speakerphone, a camera, they came with a headset and car charger AND it's a flip phone. I've always wanted a flip phone. The only thing with these phones is that the service providers want you to buy ringtones and wallpapers and games. So they don't put anything cool on them as default.

The first day we got ourselves one ringtone to help personalize it. The phones also came with these fancy, mock-leather cases that you can clip to your pocket or belt. She put her's on her phone to help differentiate it from mine.

For the next few days we were taking pictures and sending them and trying new text messages and sound and all sorts of stuff.

Anyhow, back to my original rant. I decided to browse through the games available for purchase. I just wanted to see what kind of stuff this phone could do.

They had the obligatory games, like Tetris, but then they had stuff like Tiger Woods PGA Golf, The Sims 2, 2006 FIFA World Cup and even a Family Guy game. On a cellphone.

Anyhow, I browsed around until I ran into one that caught my eye. Call of Duty 2. Now, I played Call of Duty on the PlayStation 2. It was freakin' hard. There's all kind of period weaponry, different ways to attack and a very accurate story line. All in all, it was a great game that I'm sure took a long time to create, let alone play. Here's what the cellphone game boasts:

"Application Description:
Experience the true intensity and tension of war in the most realistic World War II game ever seen on a cellphone."

On a cellphone. Ugh.


You play the hand you're dealt

I didn't bring my lunch to work yesterday, so I took a walk to the Rivercenter mall and their expansive food court.

A burger just didn't sound very appealing, but I didn't have much money. I had relegated myself to getting a Hunger Buster from Dairy Queen, when suddenly I spotted a Schlotzsky's sandwich shop. I looked through the menu and counted all the money in my pocket. I'd be able to squeeze out a sandwich and a drink.

So, I ordered my food and when I got my drink, it had this scratch and win thingy stuck to the side of the glass. I pulled it off and stuck it in my pocket. I didn't figure I'd win anything anyway.

I made the long trek back to the paper, my nearly bald head baking in the hot sun. There were puddles of tourists all over the streets. You can tell the out-of-towners by the sun beaten squint and way their mouths hang open in a sort of "I just had a lobotomy" kinda way.

Anyhow, I got back to work and sat down to eat. Toward the end of my meal, I remembered the scratch-off thingy in my pocket and grabbed a coin.

The game is like a hand of poker. You rub out the top layer to reveal your hand, then the dealer's and then you can see what prize you win. I like to do it all in that order.

So I scratch off my hand. I had to look at it closely because the letters are so small, but I had four queens. Four queens. That has to be a good thing. Then I scratched off the dealer's hand. A full house; 3's over Jacks.

I had to think for a moment whether four queens beat a full house, but I was reassured by a coworker that they did.

At that point, I was fully satisfied I'd won big. I mean, four of a kind is a hard hand to get on one deal. Let alone on some randomized scratch-off game. So I scratched out the prize and what did I find:

"75 cents off your next pizza purchase."

Never has a four of a kind felt like a losing hand.


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